I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
