Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
