3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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