I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Randomize
