I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
