Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
