woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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