how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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