This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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