Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
