that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
