yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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