he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
