Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
