i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
