I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
