'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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