A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
