How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
