I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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