If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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