i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
ttyl tear gas
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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