Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
God, I missed his penis.
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