It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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