What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
