you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
