just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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