On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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