3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
