Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
