Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
