Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
