Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize