he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
