that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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