drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
