i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
