we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
