I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
