You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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