I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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