If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
