I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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