she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Watching her eat just hurts me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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