sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
