I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
