i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
