Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
