I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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