K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
