No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
