We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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