grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
