Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
