I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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