so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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