Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
