I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
