so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
