Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
