I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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